It is 10:30 on Friday night and I am sitting in my bed and the only thing I can hear is my typing. Cameron is at work and my three beautiful children are sound asleep in their beds. The tv is turned off and I just had a shower and feel like I can breath...
For some reason no one ever told me parenthood would be this hard. I feel like I have been hit by a freight train! I don't know if it is adjusting to life with three, or that my older ones have so many activities/appointments or what, but it seems like it is 10:30 or later every night before I get a chance to sit and have time to myself.
Someone asked me last week..." Why are you so busy?" I replied "Well, this week Lexi has dance on Monday, Soccer game on Tuesday, Soccer practice on Wednesday, Tumbling on Thursday, and homework. And Quinn has Occupational Therapy at Shriner's on Tuesday, a Neurology appointment on Tuesday, and dance on Thursday. And Hudson, well he just is busy everyday, because let's face it, he requires a lot of attention."
So needless to say I have been feeling a little overwhelmed! I became a mom when I was 18 years old. When you are that young it could go either way, you can grow up and be a good mom and be responsible, or you can have a pity party and not take care of your kids and let your parents raise them. Regardless of the busy weeks and days we have, I am so grateful that I chose to be a good mom. Even though I yell and scream sometimes and lose my patients, I am still a good mom. Even though I am sitting here wondering what the hell I am gonna do with 3 kids, I am a good mom. And I am so grateful to be a parent because if I weren't, I would miss out on moments like these....
Terra I TOTALLY understand how you feel... some days I wonder if I made the right choice at 18 to be a good mom, and all I have to do is hear my kids laugh- and I KNOW the answer. You have super cute kids and one day they will be grown up and we will still be young enough to have a life and sad our kiddos are gone. Hang in there and enjoy them while we can!!! Miss ya!
ReplyDeleteTerra, thanks for your honesty, and I love the way you write! You're a great writer, and reading your blog makes me feel like I'm sitting right next to you having a chat. You are a great mom, I'm sure, and your kids are lucky to have you. Motherhood is not an easy job, that's for sure. I heard this saying once and think it's so true (and funny): "When the kids were asleep they looked so sweet I wanted to eat them. When they woke up I wished I had!"
ReplyDeleteI'll be in Heber in August and would love to catch up with you!
Ahhh, stinking cute pictures!!!
ReplyDeleteBusy I would say, but that is better than having nothing to do I guess. That is what we tell ourselves right? You are a good mom, and your kids are lucky to have you!
This post made me cry, and I'm sure you know why. I had a talk with Will the other day and just told him how much I loved him and how badly I wanted to be the best Mom ever, but I admitted to him that I make lots of mistakes, but that I will keep trying. I think it's important for us to show our kids that it is OKAY to make mistakes. What is most important is that we've been provided with a way to fix them.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mother. Such an example to me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for helping me fill my shift yesterday. I needed to be home with my family and to help where I could. I would have been no use to you anyway!