Yesterday I celebrated my 25th birthday. Let me tell you how...
Passing Kidney Stones!! Yay! What a great way to spend your birthday. But enough of that...
As I have approached 25, I have been really contemplating my life, what kind of mom I am, what kind of wife I am, and what kind of person I am.
Lately, I have not been that impressed. Since I started working full time everything has kind of gone down the crapper. I get off work and don't feel like doing a damn thing. The laundry doesn't get done, and my house is a filthy pig sty! I have let Lexi sleep on the couch about every night this summer because I am to lazy to go tuck her in. And I have been slacking on Quinn's therapy that I am supposed to do with her every day.
I keep thinking..."Something's got to give." And it has. Last week I gave my notice at work. While expecting our 3rd child, I look at the mess that I am in right now, and get really scared when I think of a new baby in this mess. Plus, how does a mother of 3 work 40 hours a week?
So...yesterday as I was "Celebrating" my 25th. I decided to give myself a make over. I am going to make over the mom and wife I am and try to be better. I am not in my early twenties anymore and can't get away with being flaky. So...now I am going to stay home and not work. Lucky me to get to stay home with such cute kids! I have to sacrifice some stuff. Like my brand new 2011 Jetta that I absolutely love. Because we won't be able to afford it now. But I would drive a 1982 New Yorker if it means I get to stay home with my kids.
Maybe that is the newer, older, wiser version of myself. But I have just gotten to the point that it doesn't matter what I drive, and it doesn't matter what I wear or what toys we have. All that matters is that my family is taken care of. And that I am not on the sidelines like I have felt like for the past 8 months. And is feeling like you are on the sidelines in your own kids lives worth driving a nice car and making good money? I think not.
I tried working full time. I like the job. But I can't say that it is for me. I can't wait to spend my days home with my wonderful kids and hopefully improve myself.