Words of a Waitress

I am a waitress. Not many people think of being a waitress as a good job. But I love my job. It allows me to be home with my kids during the day, and get to help in their classrooms and run them to their many activities. It also allow me a short break a few nights a week. And let's face it, I make good money, like DAMN good money. It's crazy that more people don't do it.

I also love my job because I get to meet a lot of different people. I am a friendly, outgoing person by nature, so getting to meet new and different people and hearing their stories is really quite interesting to me. Along with getting to meet a lot of GOOD people, also come with meeting a lot of.....D*Bags, for lack of a better word. Sorry. I have made many friends who come to the restaurant and request me now, and I see them outside of the restaurant and we visit which is super cool. But....I could write a book on weird, rude, crazy, obnoxious and D*Bag type people. I will share a few, just because it is kind of a joke to me now...I can laugh at most of them.

*Two gentlemen were sitting at a booth. I greeted them with a great big smile and told them our special. I went and got their drinks and asked if they were ready to order. Man #1 ordered with no problem at all...super easy, very nice. Then I asked Man #2 what he would like...here is how the conversation went

Me: And what can I get for you?

Man #2: What is a baseball steak?

Me: A baseball steak is a center cut sirloin as big as your fist. It is 13 ounces and shaped like a baseball.

Man #2: I hate to tell you, but there is no such thing as a baseball steak.

Me: (trying to maintain the great big smile) Actually there is such thing as a baseball steak. It is a center cut sirloin as big as your fist. It is 13 ounces and shaped like a baseball.

Man #2: I guess I will have an end cut of prime rib.

Me: Okay, how would you like that prepared?

Man #2: A true end cut should always be cooked  well.

Me: Actually our prime rib is slow roasted to a rare temperature and then dunked in boiling a'jus to get it to the temp you would like. So it can actually be ordered med or above.

Man #2: A true end cut should always be cooked well.

Me: (looking at Man #1) Apparently your friend here knows more about my job than I do. Maybe I should sit and have dinner with you and he can wait on us.

Oh snap!!! Surprised I didn't lose my job! But I have found that people tend to be much more nice when you put them in their place when they are rude. This is not the case for every person who is rude. Some are just to far gone! 

*One more for good measure....I was serving two OLDER gentlemen their salad. When I say older, I mean probably late seventies, early eighties. Well, the older of the two kept staring at my chest. He finally pulls his eyes away from my boobies long enough to say...." You have a very ample bosom, It's very nice" I was rendered speechless and walked away in a rush. Needless to say, this perverted old man didn't even tip me!