Fear

I wouldn't say I am an especially fearful person. I mean, I am afraid of the normal things like clowns, spiders, and the wind ( okay not so normal on that one). Last week I had the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me happen.

As I was lying in bed Wednesday morning, talking myself into getting up, Quinn came walking in my room. Now this isn't abnormal. She usually walks in and says " Can I cuddle?" But this time she walked in and started throwing up foam. I rushed her to the bathroom and got her cleaned up and laid her down on my bed.

I went upstairs to wake Lexi up for school and came back down and Quinn was acting really weird. She was shaking terribly and her eyes were darting back and forth. That's when I noticed that her left hand was twitching. It finally dawned on me that she was having a seizure.

I immediately grabbed the phone and called my Grandma Bonnie. I said " I am having an emergency and I need you NOW!" and I hung up. My sweet Grandma was there in one minute. She walked in and saw what was happening and called 911. Tristi also showed up because I was on the phone with her telling her I wouldn't be to work when I realized she was having a seizure. I hung up on her and so she jumped in the car and came.

In the meantime I was a total basketcase! I couldn't get a hold of Cameron and I am pretty sure I was still in my garments when my Grandma and Tristi showed up.

My house was filled with Paramedics, cops, and any family who had heard it on the scanner or drove by and saw something was wrong. In all of this chaos... Lexi sat in the kitchen, out of the way of everything and was calm and collected. What a sweetheart. She had to be so worried!

We finally got a hold of Cameron and he came in and said "What are we waiting for, take her to Primary Children's". Cool as a cucumber. I am so glad he was, one of us needed to be.

The ambulance took her to Primary Children's and she seized the whole way there. They gave her some medicine in her IV to stop the seizure and did a CT Scan. The scan came back not normal...because it will never be, because of her brain damage. But it came back with nothing new on it. So that means no new damage occured.

We stayed at the hospital for about 9 hours and they sent us home. They perscribed some medication that we can shoot up her nose if she has another one. She was very tired and not herself for a couple days, but is back to normal now.

Besides the fact that I have a new fear now...of leaving her with someone, of her having another one, of the stress it puts on her. I am so glad to know what to expect for next time. I am so grateful that the seizure didn't do any more damage to her. She is such a brave little thing and didn't think anything of what was going on. In fact when her hand was twitching, she kept grabbing it with her right hand and holding it to try and stop it.

So...to all of you who helped that day, or brought us dinner, or just called to check in. Thank you so much for caring about our family. Your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated and didn't go un noticed.

A case of the Mondays...

Mondays....

What can I say?

CHAOS!!

Yesterday when we got home from church at 4, we decided it would be a great idea to have a nap. Boy were we wrong!

Lexi and Quinn both took long good naps and we never heard a peep from either of them. But come bed time, LOOK OUT!

Quinn cried for at least 2 hours...I am not exaggerating. As we get her ready for bed, we get in pj's, brush teeth, and get a drink. She was not happy by any stretch of the imagination to be going to bed...so Cameron proceeds to give her a drink and she tells him afterwards, "You're still mean dad"

He put her in bed and we just got sat down watching last weeks episode of 90210, when she opened her door and yelled..." I'm throwin a fit!" and slammed the door.

Literally 2 hours of this!!

While Lexi on the other hand was so excited for her Field Trip to the Zoo today that she couldn't sleep and had to keep getting up for some reason or another.

So by the time Cameron and I make it to bed, neither one of us can get comfortable to go to sleep. Just as we start to doze off, Cameron's on call phone keeps ringing to let him know something is wrong at work.

Needless to say....no one in our family got very much sleep. As if getting going on Monday mornings isn't hard enough. Let's add a night of NO SLEEP!!

Happy Monday Everyone!

Mornings

Mornings at our house are quite interesting now that I work. We rush, rush, rush still to end up late. This morning we had quite a dramatic one....

Me: Quinn, come on let's do your hair ( While picking out this bow)

Quinn: Put it back! Put it back! I not wear it!

Me: Come on, we are in a hurry, we are gonna be late, let's do your hair!

Quinn: I not wear that flower, I doesn't match!

add kicking and screaming

Quinn: I throwin a fit!

I am really gonna have problems if it is already starting at 2. Next thing ya know she will want to pick out her own clothes! Just another morning in the life of The Budd's.

Dear....whoever

Do you ever get so irritated with people sometimes? And then you just have to grin and bear it? Well I have discovered that writing it down might help to me to get over stuff that bugs me. So...here goes...

Dear Complainer,

I know that you work all the time, I know that you have bills to pay, I know that you are tired, I know that everything in your life goes wrong, I know that you are picked on, I know that nothing is ever your fault, I know that you are sick all the time.....BUT GET OVER IT!!!! Every person has problems of their own, has to work to pay their bills, is tired of working, has confrontations with people, has someone to take care of. You, my complaining friend, are not alone. Deal with your issues and quit thinking they are worse than everyone else's. Things could always be worse.

Dear Interupter,

I just can't even tell you how much I love it when I am in the middle of telling you something and you just butt right in and cut me off. IT IS AWESOME!!! Obviously what you have to say is SO much more important than what I am currently saying.

Dear Person riding my butt in the car,

I know you are in a super big hurry. But do you really think that by following so closely that it will make me go faster.....WRONG! I hate to tell you this, but when you are following to close for my comfort, I will slow down to 15 mph in a 50, and I won't let you pass. I understand you are in a hurry, but it's not my problem. GET OFF MY BUTT!

Wow! That helps a little, I am sure there will be more to come!

When Quinn was first diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, I was devastated. My worst fear was that she was going to get made fun of because she is different. She won't walk the same way other kids do, it might take her longer to learn physical things, and she may have to take special classes at school. Quinn is different, but having her in our home has made it such a special place. Having a child with special needs really makes you take a step back and appreciate how good you really do have it.

I came across this video and couldn't help but share it. Some of my fears have been settled by seeing this amazing boy, and how he treated his friend with Cerebral Palsy. Quinn's CP is obviously not as severe as this boys, but it still touched my heart. I know there are kids out there that will befriend my little Quinn just like he did Dayton. This kid is really a great example of how to live your life.

https://lds.org/youth/video/daytons-legs?lang=eng

Yes....we are still here

I am slightly ashamed that I haven't made a post since October...but our lives have been pretty crazy and my priorities haven't really been on keeping people updated on our happenings. I have now promised myself to keep up on my blogging since my Mom and Cameron's Grandma have moved away, and we don't get to see them often. So if anything, I need to keep it up for them. So here is a taste of what has been going on in our lives...

Lexi is growing so much. She is almost done with kindergarten and has learned so much! I am amazed and the things that she tells me. Even though when I ask her what she learns at school every day, she simply says " I'm not telling." But I am not going to give up, one day she will tell! She reads books to me all of the time, and is constantly writing letters to her friends. She is such a great big sister to Quinn. She plays with her and helps her learn new things. She has lost 2 teeth and has one hanging by a thread. We cut her hair off in an A-Line about a month ago and she is so cute with it. She plays spring soccer, takes dance lessons, and rides her bike fast and all the time! She loves to read, color, and play outside with her dad. She told me she is going to marry Justin Bieber and keeps asking if we can go to Canada to see him. Her favorite show on t.v. is iCarly. She is quite the drama queen, everything is always exaggerated 100%. Conversations with Lexi are like you are speaking to a teenager. Half the time I have to remind myself that she is 5. She keeps me in check and reminds me to change the song when it's a bad one. And reminds me everytime I say a word I shouldn't. She says the nicest prayers that sometime make me laugh because of the things she says. My little Lexi is such a good girl. I constantly notice how she takes such good care of her sister. She would never let anything happen to her. She is friends with everyone at school and doesn't leave anyone out. She has such a tender heart and is always thinking of someone else. She is such a great example to me and I love her so much!

Quinn has made such progress in the last 6 months.You would never know by looking at her that she has Cerebal Palsy. In November she started seeing doctors at Shriner's Hospital. She loves to go there! She got a brace for her leg and has to wear it everyday. The brace has helped her to be able to walk on her own and be more balanced. Now not only does she walk on her own, she RUNS! I have a very hard time keeping up with her. We get to meet with the school district in May to see if she will qualify for the Special Ed preschool. We are crossing our fingers that she will, this would be an amazing thing for Quinn to keep getting the therapy she needs. If she does get into the preschool, she will start in November when she turns 3. That is going to be so hard for me. She just seems way to little to be in school. Quinn is such a little spitfire. She doesn't let anyone tell her anything. She does what she wants to do and when she wants to do it. She keeps up with Lexi and they play together all the time. I have had to come to the realization that I can't keep her in a bubble. She is going to be able to do everything that other kids do, she is just going to have to work a lot harder. Quinn is learning so much. She is talking up a storm, and to tell you the truth, she never shuts up. She says things like " I wanna see you, hold me." and " I love you.....so much." and when she is mad at me she says " Mommy's mad at me....I'm gonna cry." Her little voice just melts my heart, even when she is throwing a fit, it is so hard to get mad at her. Quinn has been such a blessing to our home. She just brings such a sweet spirit to our family and I don't know what we would do without her.

Cameron is doing well. He is still working for Jordanelle Special Service District. It seems like he develops more and more hobbies everyday. He played winter basketball and I have to say, I loved going to watch the games. Some of them were pretty intense and needless to say, my sister and I almost got thrown out. It's not something that I am proud of, but the old Terra came out for a minute. He has been horn hunting and found a pretty nice elk shed. Right now he is getting ready to play summer softball. Which I also enjoy going to watch. He got a new dog, an outside one. I wasn't very thrilled about it, but since he got a dog I finally got a fence to give us some privacy from our crazy neighbors. Cameron is an awesome dad and husband, and I love him with all my heart!

Oh is it to me now....I have have had some really life changing things going on in my life. Besides being mom, wife, sister, friend, and daughter. I am now a full time working mom. In January I got a job at a company in Heber called LAVA Corp. We do whole home automation, audio, lighting, security, and home theater systems. I am the office manager and I really enjoy it. It was definitely a change for me. I went from working 15 hours a week to working 40. It's been lots of fun and I have learned so much. I love being home at nights and on weekends with my family. I actually get to watch my shows when they come on at night! I don't play bunco anymore, and I rarely get together with the girls. I just want to go home and never leave when I get off. I have read some great books lately, including " Gone with the Wind" and "The Help". My favorite was "Gone with the Wind" I just loved the story, it was so good! And I am now starting the Sookie Stackhouse books. Though I haven't had much time to read lately.

So for now, the Budd's are doing great! We look forward to summer....playing softball, going on bike rides, making smores, and hanging out with our friends and family.

As a mom... I have come to realize that I encounter a lot of firsts, with my children. You almost dont realize that after the intial firsts like first tooth, and first time rolling over, and first steps, that you will encounter new ones every day. Lexi has experieced many firsts in the last couple months. She started kindergarten on Sept. 7. How did THAT happen? I cried and cried. I couldn't believe I was the mom of a school kid. And after the 1st day she told me she didn't need me to walk her to school anymore, that she could walk herself. What she didn't realize is that I needed that!! She lost her first tooth last week...it was loose for about 3 weeks and hanging by a thread. She wouldn't let Cameron or me anywhere near her, for fear we would yank it out. I was starting to worry that it was gonna fall out while she was eating and she would swallow it. But my sister Meagan took care of it. When Lexi least expected it, Meagan tackled her and ripped it out. The Tooth Fairy left her $3. And it she loved it! She also had her first parent teacher conference last week. We learned that she is doing very well in school. Learning to read and doing great with writing. She may need to work on not being the center of attenion!

Quinn has experienced many firsts lately too. She got her first pair of glasses. She is so dang cute in them. She leaves them on so good because they help her out so much! She also has started walking without help! She started out walking with a walker. I think starting out with the walker gave her the confidence to go for it on her own. We are looking forward to some things Quinn will be particiapting in. She gets to take some swimming lessons through the National Ability Center. They will teach her to swim while doing therapy in the water. We are also trying to get her into a horse riding program. Quinn has made huge strides since we found out about her Cerebral Palsy. She is doing so well. She is a little spit fire, and very independent. Thank goodness for those qualities that will help her make it through this hard trial she will have forever.





Lexi's 1st day of school. She picked out the outfit!




It is so weird to see my little girl without all of her teeth! She seems so grown up!

Quinn loves her glasses. And they are very cute! She has actually gotten to the point where she looks really weird without them on. They fit her personality!

Here she is walking! She walks all over the place now. Although after walking for a while she tends to get very tired and her muscles get tight!

This just shows Quinn's little personality. She is always being silly. And is such a girl. In fact she has to wear a splint on her hand to stretch her thumb. And she wouldn't wear it until I glued a flower on it!